Category: Uncategorized

Viewer Discretion is Advised…

At the risk of offending some,  I am going to address what is going on in the world between the police and African-American men. I was very hesitant to do so because honestly, there is enough bad news going around on the television and social media, who needs my two cents? But the weight of this issue has tripled and so I want to dedicate a post to all those who have fallen.

I am not a conspiracy theorist, in the least! In fact…those people actually annoy me. I remember growing up listening to my Dad conjure up his Pelican Briefs. Pelican Briefs being what I called every conspiracy that he spoke out loud. If the phone clicked in his ear while he was in the midst of a conversation… that meant the FBI had been listening in. If the Lakers got too many bad calls on them in a row… then the refs were working with the other team. And if a plane went down for any reason at all…Well… that was the CIA of course. I used to laugh and shake my head at him for believing that everything was so calculated. Things have gotten a lot less funny as I have gotten older.

When my father dedicated his life to Christ, there were still conspiracies, but now the enemy was the devil. “The devil don’t sleep!” he’d say “So you better say your prayers.” I think back on that fondly now, and if he was still here today prayers would be plentiful and he would have a whole brief about the way things have been going down for decades, but most blatantly since Trayvon Martin was slain. 

Since then there appears to be a wave of bodacious violent behavior against Black men. George Zimmerman, claimed to be a concerned citizen, which in my opinion was a very sheer cover up to the evil heart behind his actions. But these officers of the law, who are sworn to protect and serve, are supposed to know better. Who are you protecting and serving by executing a man for a fix-it ticket violation? Who are you protecting or serving by choking a man out on the street who is in distress and telling you that he can not breathe? And who do we protect and serve by shooting down an unarmed boy who stole a pack of cigarillos?  How is society made better by sending the message to a culture of people that their lives have no value? To me this does not seem like an  epidemic…its a pandemic. Its not episodic…and it is being further perpetuated by failure of consequences and the message is LOUD. If we treat them like animals, we can provoke them to respond like one.

These are not coincidences. These feel like plotted attacks against a people…my people. And while I stay away from the TV and the news feeds my heart is very heavy. My heart is heavy for the mothers, wives, sisters and brothers, children and loved ones of these victims. My heart is heavy for a generation of young black children and adolescents who can be here today and gone tomorrow because of the color of their skin and a black hoodie. My heart is heavy and my breathing labored as I raise not one, not two, but THREE sons in a time where there is a debate between #BlackLivesMatter and #AllLivesMatter…how about LIFE matters…Because it does, no matter the color, but one color is currently under attack.

To handicap a people in society by killing their men publicly and ferociously and then giving their murderers administrative leave to investigate when there is VIDEO and AUDIO footage is also so very LOUD. It not only compromises the lives of civilians, but also the faithful and just law enforcers who share a badge, but not a prejudice. The tension this evokes is terminal and intentional in my opinion. I see these cops who are taking these charges as I see the suicide bombers of terrorism groups. This is a movement and it can not be ignored. The alarm needs to be rang, the security rating needs to move to RED, and killing needs to end. I am praying for my people, I am praying for people who truly protect and serve EVERYONE, I am praying for my SONS, and I am praying for this nation. Thanks for reading.

You are So Spoiled!

So the other day my husband and I were talking to our oldest son about wants versus needs. For example, Mommy needs van (but wasn’t quite ready to be that girl) so we bought the SUV that Mommy wanted instead. Which is why you and your brothers are climbing all over my seats with your dirty sneakers and having to exit haphazardly out of the back gate. Anyway, this conversation was prompted after receiving a more than stellar report card in the mail. We have a point system where you accrue a number of points due to academic excellence, and you can choose different levels of rewards based on how many points you have to spend. Well, it just so happened that his iPad had crashed. It is dead. It has raised the white flag. Dead on Arrival!

Now as a parent, I am not really ready to replace an iPad just 3 months before his birthday, but… as a parent whose kids are all out of school for the summer, there needed to be some room for compromise here. He would need an iPad regardless when school started back, but should we wait and endure a summer full of road trips without him having one? I am pretty confident the answer to that question is Hell no!

Anyway, we told him that he should really give up all his points that he had earned (which were not nearly enough for this recommendation by the way) and put them towards getting a new iPad. You would have thought we told him his dog had died the way his eyes welled up with tears. The horror of having to choose between a new game for his PlayStation or a new iPad. This is what we would call a no-brainer! *Please keep in mind that I am über aware that these are first world problems.*

Needless to say when his eyes filled with tears his father and I looked at each other and both said “Are you kidding me? You are so spoiled!”   He continued to mope and his dad pulled out this wheel of words that help to describe emotion. He asked him to describe what he was feeling. The way it works is one word leads to a group of other words and so on and so forth and by the end of it we had

Sad->Ashamed->Remorseful.

The word that struck a cord with us  was “Ashamed”. We asked, “Buddy what on earth do you have to be ashamed about?” His reply was because he was spoiled. At which point we began to explain that was more our fault than any fault of his own. So then I thought to ask him… what did he think the definition of spoiled was? His definition, and I quote was, “When something has gone bad!”  Well you can just about imagine that was like taking a bullet to the heart!

He explained that it was like when you leave milk out and it spoils. I can not tell you how hard that was to swallow and how grateful I am that I thought to ask! If my husband had never pulled out that wheel of words we would have never gotten to the core of what he was really feeling and why? We use phrases so flippantly, expecting our children to be able to process and understand exactly in which context we mean it, and they don’t. And I don’t think we can expect them too. As adults we misinterpret each other all the time, so just imagine the mind of a child trying to process it all and still have a good sense of self.

I am not sharing this to be all preachy, but to spark a gentle awareness of how we communicate with our children and each other for that matter. Once we explained to him what our true intention was behind that statement, that it was more about a lack of value for things instead a lack of value in the person, he had a sense of relief and understanding. And while he walked away feeling relieved, I on the other hand, felt weighed down just thinking about how many other times that I may not have thought to ask what HE was hearing when I said things. I know I can’t go back and fix all those moments, but I can move forward with intention and so can you if this applies. Magical Epiphany Number one! That was a conversation that ended Wine and not coffee! Have a great day!

 

 

 

 

Some Jesus & Coffee

Hi! I just decided that I wanted to start this blog to journal all the stages of life I am in right now and see where it goes. I am a married, suburban Mom of 4. The 4th (our most recent addition) although being a total “SURPRISE” has completely blessed and blown up our lives in the most beautiful way. Even before starting all over with a newborn, the sun typically rose too soon, and I would find myself laying in bed thinking “Boy, I could really use some Jesus and some coffee!” The two best ways for me to start my day. Sometimes, all I get is Jesus, but He always proven to be more than enough!

Being a Mom is the hardest job that I have ever had to do. (Being a wife can rank up there too some days) And I don’t know how we do it, but as women we manage to be the hardest on ourselves. So here is where I lay it all down. This is where I will rest my weary thoughts and promote my magical epiphanies.

Few things about me: I am not perfect, and I’m not even saying that I’m right, but I am willing to be open and honest. I’m religious, but not judgey. I’m politically aware, but not politically driven. I care about the environment, but I don’t drive a Prius. And I want animals to be cared for, but I worry about people far more. I’m a Mom, but I was a woman first!  I work full-time, volunteer weekly and possess an immense desire to help inspire and drive women to feel empowered with a healthy sense of self and personal value.

I hope you like it here. Some days will be coffee and some days will be wine, the beauty of it is…no one is judging your cup.  WELCOME!